Tag: communication

How to Touch People Deeply

This is going to be an excellent year.

This week I have been all about the intricacies of interactions and connections.

I wrote an article called Answer people not their Questions where I suggested that instead of just answering the questions people in our sphere of influence come to us with, we should see beyond that.

We should answer them in such a way that they feel deeply touched and become conduits for a nuclear explosion of positive influence.

This is important because people seldom fluently describe what they want to say. In fact, being able to say exactly what you want to say, feel, or want is a gift. Being able to clearly articulate an idea is considered gold according to the Book of Proverbs.

So, its no surprise that people ind it hard to say exactly what they want to say or describe exactly how they feel. What’s more, without sufficient information of what people who speak with us are going through, we will experience difficulty in discerning what is NOT being said by folks. And it may be difficult for us to touch them deeply.

And I mean s…o…u…l deep!

In fact, we may end up thinking of a way to answer people while they are still speaking. So, this has been on my mind.

Yes, as I wrote in Make the Most of Your Nuclear Reactions –

~ When people interact its like  A NUCLEAR REACTION ~ The Rebbe

and

Its not how many people you touch, but how deeply you touch them that determines your sphere of influence ~ Mendel Kalmenson

We can use open-ended questions to listen well and help folks open up (See – Make the Most of Your Nuclear Reactions).

But what exactly can we do to not only gather intel through open-ended questions, feel the story through listening, but also answer in a way that helps people to feel deeply touched?

Here is a thought I have been pondering. Continue reading “How to Touch People Deeply”

Make the Most of Your “Nuclear Reactions”

Hello folks,

This is going to be an excellent year

I have often said, success is not about the destination, and its not about the journey either. Its about THE PEOPLE on the way to your destination. Our dreams and visions are for the people. Through our interactions with them we get inspired to think, dream, and imagine.

To succeed, we find out what they want and serve them. Regardless of how talented and gifted we are, we still need to deal with people. And even after all the adventure is done, we are left with – people – the good, the bad, and the ugly. And we still need to deal with them.

But, I often think we forget just how powerful our interaction with people are.

So, here’s a perspective* from The Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson of righteous memory –

You think that human interactions are like chemical reactions. When two elements interact, they result in the creation of a third compound. But people aren’t chemicals.

~ When people interact its like  A NUCLEAR REACTION ~

A nuclear reaction has a center, from which further reactions spread in all directions. As the outer rings of that sphere gets larger, the number of reactions grow exponentially.

Likewise, when you touch the heart of one person very deeply – even just for a moment – he in turn will touch many other people, triggering a nuclear explosion of positive influence.”

In short, Continue reading “Make the Most of Your “Nuclear Reactions””

Answer People NOT Questions

Hello folks,

This is going to be an excellent year.

When I was studying Torah (bible) with a Rabbi and while I was learning from Chabad in the Midwest, I came across a saying. And this quote has become one of my favorite and has been shaping my approach to communication since. It is –

A Rabbi answers questions but a Rebbe answers people.

A Rebbe is a Rabbi, but one who has an intimate connection to his God, his people, his people’s experiences, his community, his own experience, and a wealth of wisdom and insight from the God who made and knows the people.

For instance this is my version of a story of my favorite Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, taken from the book Seeds of Wisdom – 2, written by Mendel Kalmenson:

A young Rabbi who had a fledgling business came to see the Rebbe because he was feeling overwhelmed. He was hoping to find out where to cut back and where to focus. Instead, the Rebbe said to him,

Not only should you NOT cut back your activities, but you should increase your outreach efforts, your rabbinic work, and also your business.”

Now, tell me this. Did that answer the question? Did this answer even sound like it answered the person? Continue reading “Answer People NOT Questions”