You Don’t Have to Be on the Same Page

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Often, we think that to get along, especially in relationships, we have to be on the same page. Well, I disagree.

We are all different. We are each unique expressions of the image of God with different hopes, dreams, and ideas. We each have our own experiences and differentiating nuances in world views. Yes, even when we believe the same thing.

Imagining romantic relationships here – what if her level of spirituality is different from yours? What do you do then? Is it a good match or not? Obviously, one of you has much to learn, yes?

So, being on the same page is not really plausible. What do you do then?

When you are in a relationship or intend to begin a deep one –

You don’t have to be on the same page.

You just have to be reading from the same book.

Here’s why –

In your dream journal, you may be on Page 237. Do you expect your crush to open to that page and understand what that chapter is all about? Likewise, do you think you would understand her Life-goal journal if she turned to page 122?

I didn’t think so.

Yes! Know what your counterpart truly desires in life. Wish above anything else that they be blessed with their hearts desires. Pray you get the opportunity to help them get there.

Note that if you intend to become one, her book will become your book and your book will become her book and both your books become one.

In terms of long-term vision, though you may be on different pages in your books, you’ll both be reading from the same book, your two books that became one.

On a deeper level…

Though you may be on different pages of spirituality, its okay if you both are people of THE BOOK, reading – THE BOOK. 

That’s why when God calls you to accomplish a task, it is a call from the future. Meaning, you are not on the same page as He is. But because you are reading from the same book, his blueprint for life, He knows his Spirit will lead you ultimately to the page in the future He is looking at and calling you from.

Ultimately, in your journey, you’ll get to page 898 where HE is and where you are currently not. Same thing with marriage, dating, partnerships and so on. If the values or blueprints you are using for life is the same, chill.

You’ll be alright if you both are reading and applying them at the different stages of your life.

.

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Keep it real, Keep 100

One love, One Spirit


 

10 comments on “You Don’t Have to Be on the Same Page”

  1. If you are not on the same page often enough, then I suspect the relationship only thrives by having two people who don’t spent a ton of time together yet touch base at home in a minimal capacity. They could work different shifts or see each other scarcely because one or both travel for work, reducing communication to Skype or texting. But, I don’t know many if any relationships that work that way well (or last).

    If I was not as “religious” as someone I CHOSE as my partner (which would seem a bit odd to do), I guess we’d have to be okay with her going to (mass/services) as often as she feels fit and me awkwardly staying home (unless I take an interest in her church life and am okay to share it).

    I have just recently been wondering about how a vegan might get along with a meat eater. How does that house work? How does the meat eater not upset the vegan. And, how does the vegan not annoy the crap out of the meat eater with his/her “wont’s?”

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    1. Hahaha…I love your thoughts. I wrote just briefly but in my conclusion my hope was to show that even though you may start on different pages, eventually, if you are reading from the same book (zealously growing), you’ll end up on the same page. But boy, does the vegan and meat eater pose a big challenge. Unless that couple are quite comfortable with who they are, what they believe about food, and have developed the capacity to make room for another, that will be a spicy adventure. It’s the same like God. If God is everywhere all the time and in everything, where’s room for us to be and be free? God, though everywhere in a sense had to limit himself to and his presence to make room for us. Isn’t that what a marriage is all about too?

      And yes, if you are with someone who doesn’t want to go to mass, seriously – not a good idea. But if you are with someone starting or at least returning to their roots – the faith – and willing to learn, wouldn’t that be good?

      But I’m curious. What are your thoughts on handling the vegan -meat eater dilemma? I’m shivering with excitement waiting to hear your ideas.

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      1. Can you imagine sharing a refrigerator or pantry? I am thinking we’d have to go to separate rooms to eat, the Tyrannosaur Room and the Ceratops Room.

        Uh, okay… Shivering, huh?

        Well, as I just said…and it’s my solution for going to bed happy, too. Some couples I know don’t claim or seem to sleep well together. They might go to bed angry or on different shifts and then make sharing a bed misery, forcing one to sleep on the couch or in “the doghouse.” I suggest separate bedrooms for everyday sleeping and sharing a third for intimacy.

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      2. Wow. That is unconventional. Thanks for sharing. Your thoughts are fascinating. Third room for intimacy.

        Imagining sharing the refrigerator cracks me up on the food challenge. Man, that wouldn’t be easy. The level of conflict though. But I think going out to eat meat or specific days for meat special can work wonders. Don’t you think?

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      3. Yes. A separate room to agree to meet for intimate moments. That way the couple can be apart when they need to vent, a sanctuary to heal and a room to reconcile or celebrate together. You don’t have to go to THE ONLY bedroom angry and feel like you’re soiling the love nest.

        I think it would be a fun food fight, at times. But, I am seriously thinking we’d need separate refrigerators and maybe even dining rooms. Meet after eating. 😛

        I could stop eating meat for a day to please her. But, is there any way I’d get her to share a pepperoni pizza with me? I doubt it. And, that’s a bit of a buzzkill, as I imagine I’d be to someone who enjoys alcohol so much.

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      4. 🤣 at “is there anyway I’ll get her to share a pepperoni pizza with me?” That was…hilarious! Probably not. Maybe 20years down the line at her own discretion. I suspect divorce if you insist on sharing that pizza.

        The idea of a 3rd room sounds feasible
        To me since I often need lots of space to just be me and be quiet. But I’m thinking too much time apart from the one place where you are supposed to be one or at least come to be one on all matters may be innately divisive long term. Out of sight, out of mind. You don’t want to give too much room for your counterpart to have “other” thoughts. Plus, a lot of the conflicts can easily be resolved thru honest communication. And conflict is just the fire that helps people not avoid conflict, the very thing that transforms them and makes them one as Jesus and the father are One. Thoughts?

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      5. Oh, let’s not be so extreme. Should I scream divorce if she insists on sharing a dinner fit for a rhino or elephant?…well, I might be a bit hangry if I’m craving something meatier. Maybe I can just nibble on her a bit before eating that rabbit food. 😛 hehe

        Right? We all need personal space, even if we think committed coupling means sharing everything. Despite our growing wants, every individual needs a little space to withdraw and hopefully not do anything deceptive that would harm the relationship. But, in that comes trust…faith in your partner. Also, by having the separate bedrooms, should the relationship sour beyond repair, it’s easier to cope and regroup in your own space than be forced to decide everything in a shared space which may suddenly feel suffocating or sickening to occupy.

        Well, that’s up to the couple to sort out, spending too much time in the separate rooms. A couple could be in separate rooms without the separate bedrooms. One person might be sitting in the living room with the TV while the other plays closet or works in the kitchen. That’s separation, too. And, it’s more common than we may care to realize. How many husbands watch sports and snack while the wife is either cooking or out doing something? Is that togetherness? And, if they both work and come home tired and stressed out, too vexed to do anything remotely romantic beyond watching late night TV in the same room, that’s…not great.

        I’m all for being open and honest and working conflicts out of their tangles. But, I also realize the value of personal space, whether or not one will admit they need it. I think we all need some yet don’t need to leave the house or sleep on the couch when tension arises.

        It’s a gray area all around. But, I think the separate bedrooms would also allow each member of the couple to declare a space to represent themselves as the individuals they are in between joining to be a couple. Sort of like an agreed separation. But, instead of living in separate homes, you’re just across the hall from each other when you need your mate. Plus, this could be romantic fun, like sharing a dorm, slipping notes under the door. It’s a lil different if one partner is locked in the shared bedroom, denying the other use of the room where his/her personal items may be, and the one on the outside tries to slip notes under that door.

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      6. Hahaha loved “nibble on her a bit before eating that rabbit food.” You are funny. You are right though. We definitely need space. Thanks for your comments writingbolt. Really enjoyed your thoughts. Please keep them coming. Is there something of specific yours you’d like me to read on your blog?

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      7. I have to have a sense of humor to survive some days.

        I don’t know what you’d care to read and I’m not selling any magazine subscriptions. 🙂 You might just peruse the aisles and see what catches your eye. My mind is on more pressing matters at the moment (yet I am responding to a blog comment).

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