Fill the Void with Life

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Today is my twin brother’s birthday.

Today is Halle Patrick’s birthday. And I am all giggles and stuff. I can’t stop smiling.

He wasn’t my conventional twin per say. Blood is thicker than water. But, our bond was beyond that. Its as if when God sent a soul to inhabit a body in a mother’s womb, before the soul reached the earth, God said –

“This is a beautiful and powerful soul. Let’s make a separate the essence and send the other half to another woman who is crying for a baby.”

And so, we went. Then, the Almighty thought again andtold the angel carrying us –

Make sure that they have everything they need. Orchestrate their paths to meet so that they can become twins again. Put in their infant hearts a covenant sign so that when they meet again, they will know they were long lost twins. And they will become one-alike and one-too-much.”

And so it was that we came to be.

When we met, we knew. We just knew. We never planned anything. But that angel made sure we ended up in same schools, shared same bed spaces, ate at the same table…and so on. All our lives, He engineered it so much that everyone noticed. They called us twins. They were right and didn’t even know it.

I became his mom’s son and he became my mom’s son. As if he was me, he would sit and lay down in my mom’s bed with mom and they would talk about me. They would discuss what they hoped for me, God’s possible plans for me, who I will marry, what I needed…

We were one. If either of us had money and one of us needed it more, we would give it to the one who needed it right away. Through thick and thin we had each other’s backs. In fact, we physically began to look alike – literally – as we grew together. He was my best friend, my twin brother. And he also touched – A LOT – of lives. He inspired many, beyond skin color.

But –

He’s in heaven now

About two years ago, while returning from a military assignment, the metro he was in, got into an accident. He died that day. He was just one and a half years into his marriage. Sadder still, was the new born baby of 3 months he left behind.

Halle and his bride

It grieved me…it grieved me terribly. I have never felt pain and loss like I did that day. For weeks, I cried. I visited the beach often to shed tears, release words into the spirit, and imagine how I would live without him.

He was the one person I would die for. And there was no question – he would die for me if it was called for

Oh, I miss my brother. Still think of him often. I am thankful to God for the time I spent arguing, talking, dreaming, sharing, teasing, testing, encouraging, and praying for each other. I am. All I can do now is honor his memory. Ancient Jewish wisdom tells me that –

We honor those who have passed not by maintaining the void created by their loss, but by filling it with life – Mendel Kalmenson

So, I am all giggles because as I recall the events and memories that defined our lives, I sense his smile and pleasure for my present and future. I sense his desire for me to bring much nachas (blessings) to his son, my nephew. And to fill the void he left with life –

I plan on telling Jayden (his son) who his father was. I plan on telling him the stories, pranks we pulled, the dumb things we did…and more. I plan on transmitting the wisdom Halle and me lived to Jayden. I plan on naming one of my sons, God willing, Halle Patrick.

Still thinking. Currently, on Cloud 9….

If you have any, feel free to share with me.


Featured image from Smart Talks on Twitter

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