Hello fam –
Have you ever done something so stupid you tried to change your name, identity, and your existence after? Something so stupid you can’t believe you did it? Something so uncool that even though you are redeemed, the memories can’t seem to fade and shame is a constant stain?
Well, I’ve been there.
About two years ago, I made a mistake so terrible that left me feeling regret and remorse. Its too embarrassing for me to share with you just yet. But, I was ashamed for the longest. Afraid to even show my face in public. The voice of the accuser finally had evidence against me. I couldn’t stop thinking –
How could I have let my fears get the better of me? How could I have been so dumb as to use fear, instead of faith, as an anchor? What type of person would others see me as? How could I even think myself a decent child of God now?
As I wallowed in shame and despair about my blunder and my identity, another voice joined the conversation. This voice interjected my thoughts and decided to tell me a story. Guess who the other voice was?
That’s right…it was our friend, our helper, our counselor, our teacher, the comforter –
The Holy Spirit
It was the most shocking thing. His voice wasn’t audible, but it was clear enough for me to count it as a supernatural experience. Clear enough for me to still remember it and share it with you now.
And so HE said –
Let me tell you A Story about A Walking Man.
He is a man that walks. All his life he walks. He has walked miles from the time of his birth and will do so till the time of his death. One day, something unusual happened within a 100 yard (or 100m) distance of a hallway he was walking through.
In this narrow hallway, the walking man was striding joyfully as “usual.” One step at a time he walked. But when he reached the middle of the hallway, he fell. He tripped by himself and fell.
“He f..e..ll,” I asked in shock?
Yes, he did (He continued on).
But! within the next 30 seconds or so that followed, he got up and walked as “usual” until he went through the next door that was being opened to him. We don’t know what happened after that. Let me ask you this.
Was this man “a walking man who falls” or “a falling man who walks?” [Reader – think about this very carefully to see his wisdom]
As I thought about it, He answered and explained –
Neither! The answer is neither of the two options. He is NOT a walking man who falls or a falling man who walks. He is quite simply A Walking Man. He is simply a walking man who just happened to stumble and fall. If your answer was “a walking man who falls,” you missed the “s” in falls (Answer)
Both the walking man who falls and a falling man who walks are perspectives and perceptions, but NOT the Walking Man’s identity. He is simply a Walking Man, even if he falls or swims. He is still a man who walks.
~End of Story~
That was the story He shared with me.
But, this high moment left this residue in my spirit. Its as if after that story, I realized the following.
Before the hallway, the man is walking. After the fall, the man is STILL walking. The fall and rising up is only within those 30 seconds of his life. The question to ask is this:
- Did his fall affect his identity before the fall actually happened? Did the fall affect his identity before he got to that hallway?
- After the fall and his walking again, did that fall change the fact that he is a man who walks and who is still walking?
Sure, he will walk mindfully. But, it means he will be a mindful walking man. That means a life experience richer and and an opportunity wiser. There it is, mindful yet walking. He is still a walking man irrespective of the adjectives placed in front of that walking identity. If its bad, it can be changed.
Most likely, those thoughts of failure, regret, hurt, and falling behind will occasionally return to prank your emotions into fear, tears, and depression. But that’s alright. When the show up knocking on your mind and heart, just tell that accuser and its messenger:
I am not a walking man who falls or a falling man who walks. I am quite simply a walking man. I am a walking man who just happened to fall. Though the falling is part of life, to my identity however, falling is a very rare occurrence. Because at the end of the day, regardless of what happens, I Am and Will always be a walking man. And all I have to do, is remember who I am—a Walking Man.
That’s right—only remember!
Only remember, whatever that means for you. You still are the same smart, intuitive, noble, kind, grateful, shrewd, caring…person you have always been. Don’t let anyone or anything use that “fall” to define you.
Yes, it’s true that you fell that time. Own up to it! Butthe truth is that you are not a walking man or woman who falls or a falling man/woman who walks. You simply are a walking man. You simply are a walking woman.
So, just keep on walking as you keep on hustling. There is hope. You are still breathing.
In closing, here is a thought that I finally came to in my growth –
If you are in God’s will, so are your mistakes. And if you are walking in God’s will, so will your mistakes.
I heard Kris Vallotton say, “Conviction says, “I did something wrong.” Shame says, “I am something wrong.” But the truth is – there is nothing wrong. You are loved. You are blessed. You are forgiven. For,
There is therefore now NO CONDEMNATION in Christ – (Romans 8:1)
Have your peace.
Get back to work. Get back to your craft. Get back to developing your destiny. Get back to practicing the presence of God. Get back to praying, helping, prophesying, encouraging…testifying. Get back to believing…to risk taking. Just one more time, believe again – have faith.
You haven’t lost it. You haven’t missed your destiny. You may have missed an opportunity. But you haven’t missed your destiny. Its still in motion. Get in the game. But, this time, ask God for a tribe. Ask God for some good people. You’ll need their help.
What’s more – their own stories, trials, struggles as well as ongoing victories will inspire you and keep you going. Their stories will show you that the blooper you went through is just a casualty of spiritual warfare and spiritual growth.
Scars are beautiful. They tell the story of someone truly living life
You will find that you are not the only one going through this and running toward the victory prize of the high calling on each and every one of our heads. So have your peace. Its okay to go on.
And When you do (because I believe you will), as heaven applauds your progress, you will discover that –
Life is not full of surprises – YOU ARE!
One Love, One Spirit
This post is a throwback to two years ago. I felt led to repost it. I have this sense that its for someone. I hope it blesses all of you either way. To see more focused empowered thoughts to overcoming shame read NO SHAME HERE.