Let me keep this concise, real, and simple. Here it goes.

Each time you enter a new level of success or receive a breakthrough: if its not directly accompanied by a breakthrough in your friendships, there is a problem.

Breakthrough in friendships mean better connection, communication, intimacy, growth, love, concern, and so forth.

Yet, again,

Each time you enter a new level of success or breakthrough: if its not directly accompanied by a breakthrough in your family relationships, then HOUSTON, WE HAVE A BIG PROBLEM!

Each time you don’t bring your true friends and trusted family with you along the journey, you build pain, loneliness, and sorrow into your success. If you fail with your friends, you have family. But its worse, if its with family because if there isn’t anyone riding with you or not for you, then where is home?

So, keep this scripture in mind:

“The Blessing of the Lord makes rich, and he adds no sorrow with it” 

Those who built in Sorrow

In Genesis, Lot became blessed as he stayed with Abraham his uncle. But, when he entered financial breakthrough, there was a conflict for land. However, the bible tells us that Lot took the best part of the land and then we read, “Thus, they separated from each other (2).”

We can assume Lot wanted success so bad, he forgot about what mattered. He did not separate only in terms of land. He separated in terms of relationship from Abraham. He burnt a bridge. We can assume it was Lot’s idea because he refused to return with Abraham after he was rescued from being captured (3).

Plus, after Sodom was destroyed and his wife turned to salt, he did not return home to Abraham for help to stand up again. Ironically, it was Abraham who interceded for Sodom and may have saved Lot’s life. Also, if Abraham could see smoke coming out of Sodom, then we know Lot was not far and could have gone to Abraham. Now, do you see the pattern?

Though Lot initially attained financial success while with Abraham, it was not accompanied by success/breakthrough in family relationship. In fact, Lot ignored it. What we see is a personal, financial, and perhaps emotional and moral decline that followed. In order words, Lot unconsciously built in sorrow into his success or breakthrough.

Laban, Jacob’s uncle did the same thing. Because of Jacob, God blessed his uncle, Laban. But, Laban lied to Jacob, cheated Jacob, and tried to coax him several times (4). Jacob eventually ran away from Laban. Laban would chase him and both men would eventually make a covenant never to see each other ever again (4i). This was Laban’s burnt bridge. Well, Jacob later became Israel and was abundantly blessed. However –

We are not sure if Laban continued to prosper. What we do know is he never again got to see his daughters and grandkids. He built sorrow into his blessing, success, and breakthrough.

Jacob stole his brother Esau’s blessings. A father’s blessing is a blessing and breakthrough. But, Jacob with his mother’s encouragement was sleek in getting it. However, his actions destroyed his relationship with Esau, his twin, and Jacob had to flee. He suffered for it. Yes, he had to flee for his life, but –

That was building in – Sorrow into breakthrough.

Now, Contrast the above examples with this

See Jacob again after he left Laban. He was blessed with family and finances. It was Jacob who hearing that Esau was coming to see him first planned to make peace and reconcile (Gen 32). Fleeing was his last option when it could have easily been the first given he was scared of what Esau and his 400 men. Jacob thought and acted differently.

So, with family and financial breakthrough, Jacob initiated a breakthrough in his family relationship with his brother which grew strong. We know this because they both buried their parents (5).

Joseph was blessed with God dreams, and with the coat of many colors. Still, he added to the pain of rejection his brother felt by perhaps always telling on his brothers. Well, his brothers sold him. But, after Joseph became Viceroy of Egypt, he worked toward restoring relationship with his brothers even though he was not at fault.

So, Joseph had success and breakthrough, but it was not complete until after he forgave and reconciled with his brother. So, with success, he ensured there was a parallel breakthrough in family relationship as well. After the death of Jacob, he reassured his brothers further, strengthening their relationship. Good job Joseph!

Lastly, see Jesus. His friends all ran away when he was arrested. Peter denied him three times. But after his suffering and crucifixion came the greatest breakthrough – his resurrection. But note! When an angel appeared to relay to the women a message from Jesus about his resurrection, the angel added, “But go, tell his disciples and Peter…(6).” Isn’t this an interested emphasis? Peter is part of the disciples, why call his name apart from the disciples? Later, Jesus appeared and ate fish with his friends/disciples and then talked specifically to Peter. So we can say –

Jesus entered the biggest success/breakthrough personally and for all mankind. But, he ensured that there was a parallel breakthrough attached to his friend and family relationships even though its his friends who didn’t him wrong.

The examples are numerous, but you get the idea. These are lessons I learned from being on both sides of that coin. Always ensure that you carry your people along. Develop a personal process to always carry them along by telling sharing with them what God is doing for you or making time to connect with them. I will share mine soon. But –

Never forget. Its about the people. Its always about the people.

You have heard it said that, “Success is not about the destination but about the journey.” However, I disagree and believe differently. I am certain of this now, that –

Success is not about the destination and neither is it about the journey. Its about the people on the journey on the way to your destination.

I hope this blesses you.



One Love, One Spirit

Comment if it resonates. Share if it will bless someone!

References: (1) Proverbs 10:22 ESV; (2) Genesis 13:11 ESV; (3) Genesis 14; (4) Genesis 29-31, Gen 31:43-55; (5) Genesis 35:29; (6) Mark 16:7 ESV


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