Honor is such a paradox!
I have been hanging out with Koreans lately.
The way they show their friends and elders respect is interesting.
When Koreans meet each other, they slant their heads. When they meet their elders, they bow to show respect as they shake the hand of the one the honor. My aesthetic understanding might not be completely accurate
In my culture though, we sometimes bow. But often, we greet with the right hand and support that right hand with the left hand. Sometimes, slanting a little and adding some space.
These are traditions and they can be treated as that.
But I am a cruious fella. I like to know. I like to experience things like this. So, I decided to put this new practice of bowing to elders to the test. The more I have done this intentionally, the more I have either felt or discerned something transcendent at its core.
Here’s my logistics report:
Each time you infuse a greeting – a handshake or hug – with a desire to honor, you give something of your self-esteem. When you do that, you create a void within you. When you that happens, in your “less-ness”, you are lowered to humbleness of mind.
When a void is created and you are lowered to humbleness of mind, there is extra space created by the loss of self-esteem for God to fill. When there is extra space for God to fill, He enters and fills the void of your slashed self-esteem with the pleasure of intuitive greatness. Think “Whoever humbles himself, I will make great.” Think, “The greatest of you shall be the servant.” Think, “When I am weak, then I am strong.”
Before you know it, God raises your credibility in the minds of those you honor because they already have good thoughts about and toward you. When that happens, you gain respect in their sight. Meanwhile, those whom you honor in aggregate create room for you to increase in the field or sphere of influence you are in. First, in their minds, then via their discussions, and finally, through their recommendations.
In Africa, we are often taught,
A man/woman who pays respect to the greats paves the way for his or her own greatness – African Proverb
You have also heard it said,
Give credit to whom it is due – anonymous
The final test of man is his respect for those who can be of no value to him – William Lyon Phelps
To earn respect you must first give respect. And to be honored, you must first give a piece of yourself, of your self-esteem.
This the is path and the paradox of honor.
So, be nice to people! Honoring and showing people respect is like giving a little extra.
The extra that is necessary for you to build credibility and gain respect; and the thing which will help you remain established and keep you succeeding in your sphere of influence.
I now see why grandma (>100yrs) gave me the following lifetime blessing in the form of wisdom. She said to me as she would say to you:
Son. Love all people and respect all people.
I guess I am reminding and encouraging you to infuse every greeting, handshake or hug, with so much love and respect that the one receiving it can feel it being transmitted to into their bones, lifting them up, and giving them peace and rest in your sight. For there is life, love, laughter, blessing, and advancement in honor.
In short #favor all day, everyday; all around, every round!
That’s how you ride the destiny wave with Class!
No doubt, one of the greatest commands is, the first commandment with a promise is:
Honor your father and mother
that your days may be prolonged in the land (Exodus 20:12)
that it may go well with you in the land (Deuteronomy 5:16)
NB: it didn’t say honor them when they do right. It just says honor them – meaning – regardless of whether they do right by you or not. And oh, if it takes a village to raise a child, that means who ever within your community of sphere of influence blesses or empowers you – parents, friends, kids, spiritual parents, the beggar on the street, the kid who cheered you on – is deserving of your respect.
I think that’s about everyone, yes?
#Act and react with Class!
#Life is not full of surprises, YOU ARE!